Q Two years ago, in my last year of school, I lost my virginity when I was raped. Since then I’ve assumed that was what sex was like and so I didn’t ever want to do it again. I didn’t realise I had been ‘raped’ until I recently told a friend about what had happened to me. I’ve never told anyone else.
I’m in a relationship now with a lovely boyfriend who is patient, kind and caring – a very different type of guy to the first one I met. I want us to be intimate together, but whenever we try I just seem to clam up. I have flashbacks and I freak out and get all panicky and tearful. I fear that I’ll always be like this. Will I ever be able to have sex like a normal person?
A You are a normal person – well, as normal an anyone is!
It sounds as though you’ve been more deeply affected by the distress and trauma of having been raped than you’d realised. This is perhaps compounded by not acknowledging the full impact of the sexual assault/abuse upon your mind and body, and instead trying to bury it and put it behind you. [Read more…]