Q My parents are both very brainy, but I’m so scatty and stupid. I just don’t get it. When I was small they weren’t around much because of their professional careers and I had different nannies and au-pairs until I turned 12 and had to look after myself. I’m an only child, and was often ill and looked after by the ‘hired help’.
I seemed to be OK at school and I did manage to squeeze into college, but I think they’re ashamed of me because I haven’t made much of myself and I’m so forgetful and dumb.
I do now have a partner and would love to be a mum myself one day.
If I was more like them I think we’d feel closer, and they’d like me more and want to meet up with me more often. I wonder what’s wrong with me and why am I so scatty?
A I feel discomfort both at the way you describe yourself, and your ‘inner child’s’ longing to be seen, accepted, loved and valued for who she is…without any conditions being set.
Comparing ourselves to others is a quick route to self-doubt and unhappiness – and there’s really no point in it!
You have your own unique character and personality. You may share genes with your parents but that doesn’t guarantee that you will be a carbon copy of them. Would you even want to be? [Read more…]