Q My kids are both nagging me for the latest games and fashion gear – but I just can’t afford it because I’m a single parent on benefits. They’ll have to make do with what I can get for them, and I get some great bargains from charity shops and car boot sales. My friend said the other day that giving them cast-offs will affect them when they grow up. Do you think it will?
A I have a two-sided response to your question. On the one hand I know from personal experience how shaming it feels not having the same quality or quantity of stuff that childhood peers have. It’s tough being a child who is ridiculed and stands out as different from their peers. Children can be very harsh – because many of them haven’t been brought up to be better than that. [Read more…]
Q I had no idea what was really involved in being a mum. I do love my child but there’s a price I didn’t expect to have to pay. I feel myself resenting having to give up so much of my life, my career, my time, my energy, and my money! I feel frustrated and angry that I’ve lost ‘myself’ by becoming a mother. I feel guilty and ashamed even admitting this to you.
A No-one is ever fully prepared for the enormous change that becoming a parent brings with it. We think we are…but we can’t really know until it happens.
It’s a fact that to be a ‘good enough’ parent we need to give our time, attention and calm loving care to our utterly dependent baby.
Perhaps you’re focusing more on the sacrifices rather than the gains…and that’s easily done. You have temporarily had to put aside an aspect of your life – but not permanently. When you can get this back you may find that it’s become less important to you and you don’t particularly want it back anyway!