Q I don’t mean that I have no friends, I have several. I also have a loving partner and kids. The problem is, no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing I still have this underlying feeling of flatness, and dullness. It’s like a feeling of sadness, of waiting, and of being shut down and alone. I know I felt like this as a kid but I’d have thought it would have gone now that I’ve disowned my abusive parents and started my own family. I wish I could be free of this feeling, but how?
A I suspected that you’d had either a neglectful or abusive childhood as I started to read your e-mail – and so I wasn’t surprised to read that comment.
I don’t know what type of abuse you suffered but it will inevitably have left an imprint upon your developing psyche, your soul and your sense of yourself and what you should expect in life.
I know myself that those old ‘core feelings’ which sum up our childhood do still linger around in adulthood. They lurk in the background whilst we are busy being in ‘role’ and carrying out the activities of our everyday lives.
Q