Q I have 2 kids from a previous relationship and I’m now in a new relationship with man who’s been brought up as a Jehovah’s Witness – although he’s ‘lapsed’ and doesn’t go along with it any more. He says his mother and father were both very strict and physically abusive to him as a child.
I haven’t met his family yet but I know they don’t acknowledge or celebrate Christmas. I don’t want to spoil it for my kids when they come over to visit us soon in the new year. I don’t want to have to tell my kids not to mention Xmas or the presents they got. I don’t want to cause an atmosphere and I don’t know what to do for the best or who to please.
A There are two issues here. Abusive parents, and their religious beliefs. Assuming that you don’t suspect that they will be physically or emotionally abusive to you or your children (or to your partner in your presence) this leaves you with how to ‘accommodate’ their views when then visit you; and your own feelings towards them based upon what your partner had told you far.
I suggest that you do whatever best suits you and your children. Your partner’s parent’s beliefs are not shared by you and there’s no reason that they should be.
You may also find that they ‘disapprove’ of other aspects of your life too. Such as the type of mother/parent you are, or your marital status etc – and you have a choice about how you handle any such negativity if it comes your way. [Read more…]