Q When I was a kid my mum would take any money I had in my piggy bank – from my birthdays, odd jobs, babysitting, my paper round etc. If I mentioned it she went ballistic and shouted that I owed her my life and the least I could do was ‘chip in’ with the household bills (she was a single parent and I was an only child).
This made me really mad but there was nothing I could do except try to keep some money a secret. This has left me still being secretive about money with my partner.
What’s even more strange is that I keep giving money away to others who I think deserve it more than I do. I can see the link but it’s hard to give it up. I feel bad either way. My mum still expects me to pay for things for her and she gives me a sob story if I try to avoid doing so. She never did get married and is still single and alone, and is now in bad health too. It’s as if she’s still entitled to anything that’s mine – and she’s draining my life! What can I do?
A She reminds me of a child who feels entitled to what others have – and who hasn’t grown out of that fantasy! She seems narcissistic and self-centred – but I very much doubt she’d see it like that 🙂
You’ve already made the link between the past conditioning you’ve had around money, entitlement, paying your dues, and being generous even when it costs you too much. The next step is to break that association and create a different one, that serves you better. [Read more…]