Q. I am unable to demonstrate vulnerability, and I struggle to have compassion towards others – it just doesn’t come naturally to me. I think the problem lies in the fact that I can’t ‘feel’ anything…and it is affecting my ability to be vulnerable with a man.
I have incredibly high self esteem, am very confident and self assured, about everything…my body, my looks, my capability…nothing really fazes me and as I am very smiley and happy, people warm to me. I put a smile on my face, and get going! I’ve done this for as long as I can remember.
I have no problem in attracting men online. I go for the strong masculine men, and they often fall hard for me before we’ve met, or even sometimes before we’ve spoken on the ‘phone, and then definitely when we meet.
I have no problem in the early days because they love my energy, confidence, audacity, cheekiness, shyness (I am quite shy deep down), so all very feminine energy.
But when I become comfortable with them, I revert to showing my masculine energy, and we then lose the connection almost overnight.
I know I want to change this pattern… but I don’t know how. I do believe it is strongly connected to my inability to feel…so if you could help me with that, I would be very grateful.
A As you’ll see I’ve trimmed down your e-mail to just the main points of your problem.
You clearly have a lot of insight already – but you still seem to lack the connection between your inner and outer world.
I’m intrigued by the two different sides to you. [Read more…]