Q I need some advice regarding both parents having a uniform approach to parenting. I want to get rid of the ‘good cop – bad cop’ scenario; with both parents parenting together rather than against each other. There’s also the problem of the grandparent’s influence. What’s the best way to do this without there being a winner and loser?
A My first response is that the ‘good cop – bad cop’ is both confusing and emotionally unfair to a child.
A child needs consistent messages which are all the stronger by being
reinforced by both parents (or other caregivers). [Read more…]
Q My parents traveled a lot when I was small and although it was exciting to see all those new places, I see from the family photos that I wasn’t a happy little girl. I missed having friends around me. Now that I’m a mum myself I’m wondering if I should ensure that I stay rooted in one place so that my own daughter feels that she ‘belongs’ somewhere. I’m not sure how much this will be possible as I do still want to experience new places, and may have to move in future due to my husband’s work.
A There is no right or wrong answer – as both variety and predictability have their merits.
It doesn’t so much matter ‘where’ as ‘how’ you live. Security and stability are vital to a child, and these aren’t determined by your geographical location as much as by your parenting style, time, attention and consistent boundaries. [Read more…]