Relationship problems, wanting to have a babyQ I had quite a good childhood – I was an only child who had plenty of stuff, nice holidays, pretty dresses and toys – but yet I still feel so sad inside.

I’ve been self-harming since my teens, have an eating disorder and I’ve even tried to kill myself in the past. My dad was a busy business man and we travelled around a lot and I went to several schools. My parents divorced and I lived with my mum from the age of 12. She was depressed and a heavy drinker.

I’m trying hard to make a go of my life, but I’m still single at 35. It’s becoming late for me to be a mother and I fear this will never happen now, but more than that I fear that I’d pass my own sadness and problems on to my child too. I hate my own company, and yet when I do get a man I change into this suspicious, scared and clingy little kid and I despise myself for being like that. It causes arguments and split-ups. I push people away because they can’t cope with me. I’m so sad underneath my smiley face. How can I find a happy relationship and have a baby with him?

A You’ve raise several points here – and my written response can’t cover them all fully – but I’ll share my main thoughts with you, and perhaps you can then decide if you’d like to get additional professional help to fill in the gaps.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.

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Stop attracting bad guysQ I know on one level that I find them more interesting, exciting and a challenge, but I really thought I’d outgrown all that. I want more! Why can’t I find a man who’s honest, reliable, trustworthy, and who wants to spend quality time with me and not be secretive about his life. I’m so tired of all the games and I want to find a good man to settle down with. I’m 35 years old now and I want to find a life partner and to become a mum. What am I doing wrong?


A What bait are you using? What message are you giving out about what you want and how you expect to be treated?

Let’s not forget that men can have the same problem too if they’re attracting high-maintenance, game-playing drama queens!

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