Q After 10 years of marriage we have decided to separate with a view to getting a divorce in two years time.
I know that lots of couples split up yet I hear very conflicting accounts of the effects upon the children.
I feel sad, disappointed and that I’ve somehow failed in my marriage, but I can see that we were never that compatible and we both fell in love with the notion of love. We have just matured and grown apart.
What do you think is the main problem we might need to work through to make all this less painful for our kids?
A I admire your heart-felt concern for the continuing welfare of your children.
I get the impression that this split is amicable and if so this will already be of benefit to your kids.
When you feel concerned about something to do with your separation, then try putting yourself in their place and seeing things from their (immature) perspective. This will help you to separate what is really your own concern or issue, and what might be one of theirs. [Read more…]