Q I made the mistake of speaking honestly about my horrible and ‘toxic’ mother to a new friend at work, but she totally didn’t get it. Instead of understanding what I was telling her she gave me a lecture. She says that I should see things from my mother’s point of view, that she’s been doing the best she can, that I’ll regret it if I cut all ties with my mother…and the worst bit…that I probably love my mother deep down! She couldn’t be more wrong!
I walked away from that conversation, but it shows me again that some people just can’t seem to understand what it’s like to have bad parents.
I shouldn’t have to explain and give examples for them to judge. I’ll have to keep it to myself in future as it’s too awkward to share with someone who has no idea what it’s like to feel unloved and be treated like rubbish by your own mother.
A You’re right. People can only respond from their own ‘frame of reference’ and what they know.
If they’ve had no experience of toxic parents – either personally or from hearing about the experiences of others – then you might as well be speaking a different language. [Read more…]