SNOWED-IN!

I was just thinking – whilst shovelling away deep snow to clear a path out of my house…what if I was ‘snowed-in’ somewhere…..who would be the most challenging person or people for me to be stuck with for a few days or weeks?
For me it would be several types of people – such as a whining victim-type, or a drama-queen attention-seeker, or a doom-and-gloom merchant, or a dullard, or a cold intellectual, or a show-off narcissist. In fact I shocked myself when I realised just how many ‘types’ of people I would find it difficult to tolerate, let alone relate with.
I think of myself as a charitable, compassionate, kind and sympathetic person……and that’s all very well in theory. In practice I’m sure my less-attractive ‘sub-personalities’ would quickly emerge and cause ructions. Maybe my ‘nice-me’ is only a reliable version of ‘me’ on a short-term, unconditional basis; which is not a comfortable thought.
Such alternative aspects of people’s personalities are of course often witnessed (and voyeuristically enjoyed) in the reality TV shows such as the so-called celebritites in the jungle, or in the ‘big-brother’ house. There may not be any deep snow trapping them together, and they are getting well-paid to be publicly exposed and humiliated… but that’s another story. Maybe a ‘We’re snowed-in in a log-cabin in Canada/Alaska/Greenland/ might be a more chilling version for a future ‘show’?
So, back to my imaginary snowed-in scenario. I wondered then if there was a common denominator? Was there something about my reactions to all of my ‘worst-case-scenario’ companions that told me something about myself? Hmmm……well yes…. that I/we are most comfortable in the company of like-minded people with whom we resonate on the same frequency/wavelength. People that we freely give to and know we will receive something of value in return. People that don’t just ‘take’ from us, or who have very different values and expectations to our own; people who reflect back our best qualities and don’t stir up our worst.
I have spoken in my books (only two so far) about there not being an ‘I’ but a ‘We’ on the quantum level of consciousness…we are all waves in the ocean of intelligent energy. But my little day-dream today stirred up my own usually calm waters. The common denominator for all of my betes-noires (or when I’m not showing off…the folks I dislike the most), is that they trigger my Ego – or rather I allow my Ego to be triggered – and not the better qualities of my Ego. Instead my fantasy/nightmare companions would bring forth my intolerant, impatient, arrogant, irritable, aggressive, and probably my condescending, bossy and nasty sub-personalites too. Not a pretty sight!
We all have a whole cast of inner characters, or sub-personalites, that can each ‘burst onto the stage’ of our ongoing life drama and take over the scene….often to our surprise and embarrassment. It all depends upon your own unique history, and the current circumstances that your sub-conscious mind is ‘linking/associating’ with your past, and the people from it.
My snowed-in fantasy scenario certainly highlighted the many ways in which my own ego can create the convincing illusion of separateness and superiority from many other people. I would struggle to remain calmly detached and emotionally contained in ongoing close proximity to such folk…..and no doubt they would have their own difficulties with me too. Some of which would be ‘real’ and some would instead be the result of what they had projected onto me….or rather what they imagined I was like and which caused them to treat me accordingly.
So, finally, who would be your own worst person or set of people to be snowed-in with? Maybe your answer would be ‘myself’ …..and that would both be a cause for concern and a challenging opportunity for self-confrontation and peace-making. If you can’t be your own best friend and reliable confidante and guide; then you will be seeking to fill that gap from outside of yourself….and perhaps in doing so become the ‘bette-noire’ in someone else’s fantasy snowed-in scenario! Maxine Harley www.maxineharley.com and www.the-ripple-effect.co.uk and www.qpp.uk.com