Q I met a guy online about five months ago. He lives quite far away from me, and works every day, and so we only see each other on a Friday night. He stays over and leaves really early the next day as he says he has to see his kids at the weekend.
He doesn’t answer my texts in between times until the night before to arrange to meet me, and we never speak on the ‘phone.
I’m feeling used. I’ve tried speaking with him about it but he just laughs it off and says ‘we’re OK’ and that I should stop ‘analyzing’ things.
I don’t feel OK. I feel lonely with him. I feel insignificant to him. I feel insecure that he might be two-timing me. I don’t know much more about him than what I saw in his online dating profile months ago!
He doesn’t seem interested in my life or getting to know ‘me’ on a deeper level, apart from making sure I’m not seeing anyone else (he questions me about that a lot when we do see each other).
I want a husband and a family but he avoids any conversations about the future and where this relationship might be going.
Do you think he’s just wasting my time and using me for sex?
A No one but he knows the answer to that – but what is clear is that he isn’t ‘involved’ in your relationship in a way that you want or need.
In a healthy relationship we need to feel safe, supported, significant and special – and you don’t. [Read more…]